I am still in the mood of celebration, this time, for my BCSE examination result. It caught me by real surprise when my brother called me and said, ‘you topped’. I couldn’t simply believe it. I rushed to buy a kuensel from nearby Grocery Shop. It was true. My only disbelief for now is, it must be a printing mistake. That sounds foolish right? I don’t know why? My intuition was that I will not be able to make it to top 12. I did not spoil my paper so badly, but still I was not convinced. I was sure to pass (i.e. to get minimum of 50%).
I still wonder why I did not believe in myself. My intuitions were actually wrong. I am happy that I scored the highest of all in Electrical and Electronics category. It is already 12 noon and I still didn’t take my breakfast. I am still responding to calls from friends and well-wishers, I am still replying the mails that are popping up. This moment is wonderful and I must use it properly for ecstasy I am going through will rarely come. I am in jocund mood.
I called my Dad and told him about it. I felt him smiling with a sigh. No achievements can be ever greater than to put smile on your parents face. I informed many of my relatives and friends. I am really happy not because of my result, because it let my parents smile and their wishes fulfilled. My success is attributed to not only my own efforts, but blessings from Gods, wishes from parents and relatives. Above all, I thank my Dad for inculcating me with all positive thoughts, valuing social service, valuing community vitality, respect for elders and faith in others. I attribute my success to those values than on my mere hard work. I again vow here to serve others above myself and be the best citizen, be the best son, be the best brother, be the best graduate and learn from yesterday’s mistake.
I am not creative, so I am not composing anything, I don't have singing voice so I will not sing anything, I am not dexterous so I am not designing anything but from inner core of my heart I am saying thank you to all who had faith in me.
This also taught me how adaptable I am and how flexible our mind is. I had an intuition that I will not be able to make so I pre-wrote an article to console all those who had faith in me. Before I could complete, I had to stop writing when I started getting endless calls and online felicitations. Human mind is funny and wonderful at times. Just go through my views if I am not selected and compare it ………. Ha ha ………. so, I dedicate this article to all those who could not get into civil service.
BOMBSHELL DROPPED IN MY FAMILY
It has been my dream to serve as civil servant. But, not the biggest of all. My ideal service place, as I shared earlier is bit scattered around few sectors. The onetime most sought after job, civil service still finds its place in illiterate and semi-illiterate citizens of the country. That era of civil servant as the best scope is long gone. It was true when our private firms are not stable and promising like it is now and our corporations are not well established as it is now. The employment perspective underwent many changes especially for job seekers.
I too was fascinated to be a civil servant. I know, it will fetch me the lowest salary of all. I was still determined to join given the opportunity. I said to myself that I will decide my career only after knowing my position in civil service exams. The mission and norms of civil service attracted me towards it. Above all, it is a place where we get an opportunity to offer service to our fellow Bhutanese and country. On the other hand, the perspectives of my parents and relatives were of job security and of pride, which I don’t consider worth considering. The job is secured there, whether I am effective or not, my place is reserved. As a professional, it is not always morally right to feel so.
Anyhow, the verdict is out. The atom bomb is dropped. It shattered the hope of all my relatives and many who believed in me. It caught everybody by surprise. More surprisingly, it did not affect one simple guy. He always told me you are always the best, keep your rays of hopes shining, be the person you are, don’t let this bombshell overpower your conscious mind, you can always contribute to your nations wherever you go and all the best. I thanked him graciously. I then changed my mindset and agreed with him. I will try to be the best and prove that I am the best wherever I go. That simple guy is my rational logic. But, one aspect I am worried is to make my parent feel is, my son is who he is and he is still be best. I have to reassure them quite frequently these days and prove them within short span of time.
I must say sorry to all my ardent supports, to my relatives, to my only elder brother, to my grandma and to my mom and dad that I could not fulfill one of your dreams from many. Don’t be upset. Let me rise up stronger. Wait! Let me show to you that I am still dedicated citizen to serve my country with outmost loyalty and unwavering faith. Please keep my words. You all will be upset one way or other but have faith in me. If you are still not assured, let me pray to God, “O god, let them know the story of how Abraham Lincoln, the greatest President of America succeeded. Blah blah blah………………………..